An Evening in the Orchard

This may be the last time I get any real rest for the next few days. Tomorrow, my mom's entire family will descend in force on my current retreat, my grandpa's wonderful house hidden away in the hills of southern California. There will be over 15 people living here by this time tomorrow and my current living space, a small trailer in the orchard, will have to be shared with my brother. Oh joy. It's nice to be disconnected from the world for a change. I must admit, I'm not totally of the grid (as this post certainly attests to. But I only check my email and Facebook once in the evening, and overall try to spend very little time online. It has been nice to just enjoy the pool, and the peace, and the satellite television. I should probably start working on some of my college essays and finish up my summer reading while I am here, but so far the willpower to do so has escaped me. Maybe the influx of people, and the anticipated denial of the T.V. that will surely come with it, will be enough to force me to write or read.

May your night bring you rest and your dreams, joy.

Requiescat in pace

Death is cliche
Even that is cliche
It's all been said
Whispered in hushed tones
Grief and sorror mingle indiscriminately
With happy memories
It comes to us all
Life's great cliche
We all die in the end
It's hard to separate Death from Morbid
Death, while sad
Carries with it some happiness
Remember man that you are dust
And unto dust you shall return
To be blown about as joyous thoughts
And smiling memories
Through endless years and on countless tongues
Person to thought
Unending

Requiescat in pace
Uncle Norb

Silent Land

You never notice something until it's gone
It hangs heavy in the air
Twin to the humidity that blankets
The house on the hill
You reach out to touch it
Feel it envelope you
Spend some time with it

Shared moments,
Smiles exchanged
Laughs understood, instead of spoken
A seat, a world
The sky opens and rain arrives
One hill, sun lit
The other, grey and sodden
Yours is pleasantly aglow, drenched
In both water and light

At first your focus draws to it
Then it becomes a passing afterthought
Finally emerging as a vehicle
To shepherd the mind,
The expand the focus to see
The entirety of it all

An absence of something
Leading to a fullness of everything

Or Both

The problem with looking back, he decided, was that you tended to see more than you wanted. He hated his past. Constantly haunted by one bad decision or another, he never stopped moving. Trying to run from something he knew he had messed up. The trouble was, he always ran way too far. By the time he stopped and took a look back, he realized that for one reason or another, he still was not in the right place. He hoped this time would be different. The plane ride had been long, he was tired, and before he could stop and look around, he needed to sleep. For a long time. The escape had drained him. Utterly exhausting, these past three days had been. One of these days he was going to see a trainer. Or a shrink. Or both. But that thought died before his foot hit the tarmac. Too much effort involved. Not really, but that's what he liked to tell himself. It saved him the effort of having to actually do it. And, more importantly, it saved him from having to deal seriously with whatever he was running from that particular week.

My Evening News Feed

Nothing to do tonight

Here we go...
Allow me to reintroduce myself
I just had a lovely evening
And I'm feeling good.

Let the waterworks begin:
Look at your picture...now look at mine
You can't see my eyes
Do I always have to fuck it up?

Writers Blocked

A horrible, crippling inability
Full of passion
Bereft of skill and drive
An aching need, a desire unquenchable
Yet, you can not find the release
Line after line of words seep from the pen
A story unfolds, stops, begins again
Despair overcomes
Finally, only a blank slate is left
Nothing worthy remains but a few scattered phrases
You look down, waiting for your vision to coalesce
A wall formed between paper and thought

Many Goodbyes

Tear-stained cheeks and heartfelt hugs
Loved, loved and lost,
Lost
Internet connections remain
Loose ties to once known flesh
A glimpse of online presence
Shattered hopes
Depressing poetry flows
A weird, electronic death knell
Facebook announcing life changing moments
Chilling, virtual sterility
for deeply personally changes

Campuses Combine

Arrive, always early
Pen and paper suggested
Sit.
Listen.
(Parents, it's okay for you to sleep.)
Scribbled phrases
Diverse. Engaging.
Breadth. Depth.
Remember a word
Two if you can
Scurry about, building to building
Arts here, Dining there
Sorry, we can't show show you a dorm…
Memories blur as campuses combine
Each school reduced
Remember one thing
This concept
That catch-phrase
If I had to describe our school in one word…

Home, exhausted
So, what did you see?
Where do you want to go?
Are you still awake?